I have always had mental trouble I started when I was 4 years old bipolar disorder didn't develop it exploded and stopped my brain from making anything hormones or chemistry to make me feel good about myself well I was 13 years old I was rewarded the state for suicide watch when I was 15 years old Oklahoma State mental health authority lock me up with that summer in heartland Hospital in Nevada Missouri they did an 8 hours sleeping brain test on me and they found out that the bipolar disorder stop all the parts of my brain that made me feel good about myself May 29th every year was the only day I felt good about myself but in December 1998 I got beat up very badly I was in Washington regional hospital for 10 weeks and 38% of our brain cells are dead due to that but the neuroplasticity of our minds is amazing thing my neurologist started doing branding my eyes in 2020 and he documented after eight Brain mri's that the good part of my brain how about over 10,000 times more middle capacity and the best part since the core of my brain never was damaged I was being able to remember everything I did before I got hurt our brains is just like a bicep muscle I understood that by the educational things I did reading the Bible doing simple math problems and doing as much reading as I could the human brain is just like a bicep muscle the only way that you stronger biceps is by doing dumbbell curls but you also got to walk main important thing is keep hope in your heart and in your mind and in your life that you will get better I hope you understand that inside your soul heart and mind you can't overcome what damage you got to your mind